Reasoning

     I woke up this morning at one o'clock and, try as I might, I could not go back to sleep.  As I laid there, my mind filled with thoughts about my transition, up to this point.  As I thought, I remembered all the hateful things I've seen and heard said about the trans community, that has now spilled over to the entirety of the LGBTQ+ community.  We're losing hard won ground rather than gaining more and when I tell you what I see as the reason, other community members and supporters may be unhappy with me, and may even come to hate me.  I can live with that, but what I refuse to do is sit quietly by while the selfish few do harm to the community, and the community sits on its collective laurels in misguided loyalty to co-members of the community and/or unnecessary obedience to some supposed leadership.

    The selfish few I refer to are those trans-women who have put themselves and their own interests above those of their community.  While they MAY gain a little ground in the beginning, they are setting themselves up to lose that and more in the future, and they're taking the rest of us with them.  We cannot FORCE society to accept us.  Attempting to do so will only serve to cause society to reject us who are trans and push the rest back into the dark corners we had to fight so hard to get out of.  Sorry, not sorry, but if you've only begun taking estrogen within the past three to five years without curbing, or completely eliminating your testosterone, you should NOT be in physical competition with cis-women.  Biologically, you're still male, therefore, you possess greater strength and have an unfair advantage over them.  If you NEED that unfair advantage to help you feel like a winner, you don't deserve a victory, or respect.  You certainly aren't a winner!  If you are in support of the trans-women I'm referring to, stop it!  You aren't helping the greater good with your blind and misguided loyalty.

    Look... as an American, I'm very patriotic.  I always put my country's interests ahead of my own, because that's what I believe an American should do.  The only thing that takes precedence over my Americanism is my relationship with God and my wife.  Being trans is important to me for reasons I am not yet ready to fully explain.  But it isn't as important to me as my country.  It isn't as important to me as my relationship to God, or my wife.  There is a rift forming in American society that was caused by the irresponsibility of self-serving trans-women and those among us who blindly support them in favor of our lesser community.  I have no doubt that hate crimes against trans-people and their supporters will be forthcoming.  I am NOT as selfish as those of whom I've written here.  If the irresponsibility in this community of ours is allowed to flourish, I cannot justify continuing to transition.  I will absolutely never put my own interests ahead of the love of my life, or the friends who have given me their love and support.

    At present, I am not sure whether, or not, to end my transition.  I'll continue, for the time being.  But, I'm going to be keeping an eye on this growing trend of hatred for the LGBTQ+ community.  If it continues to grow, I will NOT continue to transition.  My transness isn't as important as my country.  It's nowhere near as precious as my wife.  It doesn't compare to my friendships.  And it isn't as sacred as my God.  Please... PLEASE... stop feeding the insanity!  For the good of the entire LGBTQ+ community, and so much more, think of the greater good!