My Latest Revelation

    Recently, I was thinking about how much I've changed over the past year and, as I have several times before, I became concerned over my apparent lack of interest in sex.  Why this is so alarming is because I've been a sex addict for as long as I can remember.  The fact that sex is no longer important to me is like the difference between night and day.  And I don't really believe that it's not important; it's just... I DON'T KNOW!

    I think that what was going on with me in the past was that my subconscious was throwing tantrums, trying to bring attention to the turmoil within me.  And, yes... it is turmoil!  To be born with one type of body, yet possess a gender usually associated with a different body type is absolutely maddening... especially if you don't realize that you're transgender!  But, ever since starting my transition journey, I rarely have a sexual thought.  When I do, it's just a fleeting thought.  Like I told my wife the other day, I used to look at a woman's ass and think, "Man, I'd like to get with that."  Now, I look at a woman's ass and think, "I wish my ass looked that good."  Don't get me wrong; I'm glad I'm not obsessed with sex anymore and whoring around like I used to.  But, it'd be nice to have enough of a sex drive to at least be able to take care of my wife's needs.  She thinks I'm not interested in her, and, in truth, I'm not.  But, it isn't her... I'm not interested in anyone at all!  Earlier, I mentioned my apparent lack of interest in sex.  Obviously, I am interested... otherwise, I wouldn't be concerned about my sex drive situation.  Right?

    It makes sense to me that if my subconscious created my sex addiction as a cry for gender recognition, once the appropriate recognition was received the addiction would recede.  I understand how that could be.  I also understand how the hormonal change could cause the sex drive to dissipate.  But, it's been almost a year now!  I worry that there might be something else going on, but I don't know what it would be.  I find that very concerning.  Is this normal when transitioning?

    If you have any idea what could be going on, please leave a message here, or send me an email at VeronikaLee@proton.me.

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